Shira Miriam Kohn

Those who've been reading this blog since I started it last August and those who've read the earliest posts here know my original intention was to keep this blog as impersonal as possible. This was done mostly so I didn't offend anyone I cared about, but also to keep those close to me from becoming targets from any readers who disagreed with my many opinions. This assumed two things: 1) that people other than my friends and family cared about what I was saying and 2) that strangers would be so bothered by my sharp criticisms of culturally important things like The Benchwarmers so as to take their anger out on me and my loved ones. In reality, both these were ridiculous beliefs, but I've never been averse to being ridiculous.

One person in particular was always quite offended by her exclusion from my blog beyond unnamed comments. "Blogs are supposed to be personal, fucker!," was her particularly specific criticism. Well, in the spirit of my original post, where I said I reserved the right to completely disobey my original standards, I give you probably the most personal post on this blog. It is about my new fiancee, Shira Miriam Kohn.

My first exposure to Shira came in January 2005. I'd just returned to JDate after giving up on it after my last date from the site expressed her excitement at working the Republican National Convention in New York. Normally, I'm tolerant of other people's beliefs, but with people I date, I tend to look for similarly minded people (at least politically). So I was a bit hesistant to return to the site, but figured since it was a new year, I'd try for at least a few months.

On January 5, I received my first contact from Shira on the JDate mail system. Her cousin and then roommate Amy told her to contact me and Shira, a bit gunshy about Jdate after some bad experiences, relented. It should be noted that Amy is a fellow redhead and is very much our own personal Cupid. Without her, there likely wouldn't be an us. I am forever indebted to her and am just glad a fellow redhead is looking out for the rest of us.

After a few emails, we exchanged phone numbers and I called her. We had a pleasant if uneventful phone call and set up a date towards the end of the month. The day of the date came and I was having a shitty day at work. I knew if I went out in the mood I was in, I'd certainly would not get a second date. So I called her, plead sickness and rescheduled for the following week. I assumed I'd be in a much better place the following week. Little did I know what condition I'd be in then.

The date of the rescheduled date came and I had developed quite a tooth ache. I went to a dentist who informed me I'd need a root canal. No problem I said, when would it be? Well, it turned out to be right then. I called in sick to work and went home to recover, wondering the whole time how the hell I would go on a date later that night. I knew if I cancelled on her, there'd be no shot of a second rescheduling. Shira has since confirmed that, thus making me very happy I sucked it up and went.

The date started off like many other dates I had. Small talk, drinks and a general sense of nervousness. A few minutes in, the nervousness disappeared and it became clear to me that Shira was much more intelligent and confident than any girl I'd previously dated. An hour and half in, I couldn't take the pain anymore, so I explained my predicament and asked if we could end the date early. I walked her halfway home and before parting company, asked her for a second date. She accepted and later told me how impressed she was with my confidence. It may have been just the painkillers.

Our next date came and we met for dinner near NYU. Having attributed the good time I had on the last date to the fact I was just happy I didn't fall over writhing in pain, I was really nervous. Again, once we started talking over dinner, all the nervousness disappeared. It was during this dinner where I (apparently) claimed I loved high school. I still contend that there is no earthly way I'd ever say that, but as most men know, your girlfriends/wives/daughters/any female in a five mile radius is usually right and you're usually wrong. But I digress.

Following dinner, we decided to go bowling at Bowlmore Lanes. A rather uneventful time became eventful as we shared our first kiss there. It was at this point I started to realize I was falling for her. We left Bowlmor and began walking and talking. It was amazing and I could have walked for miles. Except, there was one problem. By the time we'd walked ten blocks, Shira's shoes began to hurt to the point of her feet bleeding. She hadn't want to end the date and was suffering in silence. This, to this day, is equally one of the sweetest and one of the silliest things she's done while we were dating.

Things snowballed from there. Our dates increased in frequency, I introduced her to my friends and she met my family over Passover. In May, we took our first trip together to her friend Cori's wedding. With every new first, we grew closer and it was becoming quite apparent that this was not just a casual fling.

Things were not always perfect. As we got closer and closer, each of us became more comfortable expressing both our own personal issues and our issues with the other. There were many times where we were not always so happy with how things were going. Fortunately, Shira and I are both quite adept at expressing our feelings. Short term, this has often caused conflict. In the long run, it has strengthened our bonds and made us appreciate the good times even more.

By year's end, it was clear that Shira was itching to move on to the next level. Following New Year's, she left for Chicago for two weeks, leaving me with a lot of time to think about things and realize that many of my preconceived notions about when and why I would get engaged were based on my unrealistic beliefs on things. It also gave me time to realize she was the only woman I'd ever want to be with again.

We began discussing our thoughts as to what we'd want both from the immediate future and distant future. Though our views didn't always synch up, we found a common ground that we could build on. By the beginning of March, I knew that I wanted to propose to Shira before we visited her family for Passover.

As with the rest of our relationship, there were many twists and turns and bumps in the road on the way to yesterday, the day Shira agreed to marry me. Never being one to want to wait, Shira became frustrated when she realized she had no control over when we'd be engaged. All I could do was assure her that the day would come and she would be extremely happy.

Which she was. We got engaged at the Top of the Rock observation deck yesterday at approximately 12:20 in the afternoon. The moment when she realized what was happening and the moments that followed are a bit of a blur, but her reaction made everything we've been through to get here well worth it.

And now, before us, lies a future together. One which I know will be a wonderful one.

I love you Shira. Now and always.