Hitler Youth for the new millenium

There is something really, really wrong with using kids this young to spew your own despicable view of the world. Of course, there's also something seriously wrong with naming your kids Lamb and Lynx:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prussian_Blue_%28American_duo%29

Crybaby NBA players

It's hard to take cries of poverty seriously from NBA players. When even crappy players like Brevin Knight are making 5+ million a year, the owners can tell them to wear nothing but the most expensive silk clothes and it would still be reasonable.

You're being paid to play, so put on your suit and shut it:

http://www.hoopshype.com/salaries.htm

Wednesday's Wonderfully Witty Words

-So I've watched the first two episodes of "The Colbert Report" (silent "T" on both mind you) and am still up in the air about whether it's worth watching regularly. On the one hand, it certainly retained the charm that made the Daily Show great. Colbert's "gravitas-off" competition with Stone Phillips was also hilarious. Just not sure if he's worth watching every night for a half an hour. His biggest flaw is he just isn't as likeable as Stewart. Speaking of which, for those who watched last night's show, what the fuck is "The O'Reilly Factor for Kids"? Is this a 21st century Hitler Youth manual or what?

-This week's "Curb" definitely bolstered my view of the show and made me hopeful that they maintain that level of outrageous humor. The whole kamikaze sequence at the end was hysterical. Funniest making fun of somone who attempts suicide ever btw.

-Lastly, finally saw "Elephant", Gus Van Sant's take on the Columbine massacre. and to blunt, it sucked. about half the movie is spent following the characters walking,talking, vomitting and basically doing nothing of substance. I know the point was to make it seem like as normal a day as possible, but this technique wore thin after 15 minutes. A quick check of Rotten Tomatoes shows most critics (75%) liked it, which further proves that movie critics don't know shit about movies.

NBA 2005-2006 Predictions

So assuming you rely on me as your guru all thing NBA (and if you do, good for you!), here's my "fearless" predictions for this season. * Connotes a playoff team

EAST

ATLANTIC DIVION CENTRAL DIVISION SOUTHEAST DIVISION
1. New Jersey* 1. Indiana* 1. Miami*
2. New York* 2. Cleveland* 2. Washington
3. Philadelphia* 3. Detroit* 3. Orlando
4. Boston 4. Chicago* 4. Atlanta
5. Toronto 5. Milwaukee 5. Charlotte

Eastern Champions: Miami

WEST

NORTHWEST DIVISION SOUTHWEST DIVISION PACIFIC DIVISION
1. Denver* 1. San Antonio* 1. Sacramento*
2. Seattle* 2. Houston* 2. Phoneix*
3. Utah 3. Dallas* 3. Golden State*
4. Minnesota 4. Memphis 4. Clippers
5. Portland 5. New Orleans 5. Lakers

Western Champions: Sacramento

NBA Champions: Heat

Of course, the Heat have so many egos they could explode at any second, but I can't see how a team as stacked as they are can lose.

Well, duh. Of course we are.

http://newyorkmetro.com/nymetro/news/culture/features/1478/index7.html

Cheek, insert tongue.

Allan Houston

I waited till after it was official to write this since I wanted to make sure I had some time to collect my thought on his retirement. And as happy as I am that Allan won't be a drain on the Knicks payroll anymore, it's still a sad day. No matter what he did afterwards, I'll always remember that shot in Game 5 against the Heat. It was like Aaron Boone's homer against the Sox in 2003, it was that memorable and that stinging to the Knicks' longtime rivals. And it completely changed both franchises: the Heat, eventually, became what they are today and Riley (Pat not Brian) began to realize he wasn't an immortal basketball god. The Knicks foolishly figured that Houston was the man and gave him a max contract which led to all the problems we've seen over the last four years. The fact that the last memory many will have of Allan is the "Allan Houston Rule" is sad close to a good, but not great, NBA career that ended far too soon.

For more, here's Mike Lupica's column from today's Daily News:

http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/356829p-304138c.html

Another SNL Death

I don't actually remember ever seeing him on SNL since he was part of the ill-fated Jean Doumanian season, but this is still sad:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051017/ap_en_tv/comedian_suicide

Attention owners of oversize umbrellas and overzealous building security guards

Contrary to your inflate self image, the world does not revolve around your every whim. Others of us are entitled to a little human dignity too. So kindly grow some humanity or kindly shove your umbreallas/walkie talkies up your nether regions.

Tuesday thoughts

-Been quite busy over the last few weeks, so the Top 50 movie list is certainly on the back burner. I'll get back to it sooner rather than later.

-Another Yankee season ends without a WS win. And frankly, the Yankees didn't deserve to win this year. Sure, they were much better in the second half, but this team needs rebuilding. Time to stop just playing free agent lotto and start rebuilding from inside the farm system. This may mean (gasp) not making the playoffs for a year or three, but in the long run, it'll be worth it. And the solution to the problem is NOT firing Torre; it's giving him the right pieces. I blame Cashman far more than I do Torre.

-Checked out "In Her Shoes" this weekend and just as I suspected, it's one of those rare chick flicks that actually is entertaining for men as well. Doesn't hurt to have Curtis Hanson manning the helm or having Cameron Diaz and Toni Collette playing the most un-Jewish Jews in the history of Film. Still worth checking out.

-Been very dissappointed in Curb Your Enthusiasm this season. Seems like Larry is obsessed with the whole religion issue and has been churning out alot of unfunny crap. This week's episode was the best of the bunch, and even it couldn't compare to the last season's lesser episodes.

-On the flipside, Extras is quickly becoming one of my favorite shows. The Ben Stiller episode was awesome, as was the Kate Winslett one. From what i understand, Samuel L. Jackson will be appearing this season as well.

The Eddy Curry trade

Well, the Knicks finally got the guy all Knicks fan wanted about 4 1/2 year after we actually desired him. It may very well be a stealth move on Thomas's part or may be the newewst "Dumbest thing the Knicks have every done," surpassing their failure to use the Allan Houston Rule to eliminate Allan Houston's bloated contract. A few thoughts:

-I know he's not really called Baby Shaq anymore, but now that he's anchoring the Knicks, could we start calling him that again so that he gets motivated to make "Baby Kazam"? I'm sure the Big Guy will do a cameo.

-Odd that he and fellow "can't miss except he did miss" prospect Kwame Brown ended up in one of the media meccas in the same offseason. Maybe we'll still get to see the inevitable Lakers/Knicks finals we've dreamt about. Or at least we can watch how Kobe and Starburry turn them both into their respective bitches.

-One has to wonder if a Channing Frye suicide watch is needed, as in the course of three months he's gone from the center of the future to a back up for Jerome James to that guy they took instead of Gerald Green.

-Larry Brown hasn't exactly been known as the king of big men coaches, so don't expect Curry to become the center of attention any time soon.

-Finally, it's sad to see such an upstanding guy like Mike Sweetney go, but he wasn't going to get any better (let's hope). And anything that gets Tim Thomas away from the Knicks is a good move in my book.

SNL on the upswing?

So it looks like SNL is certainly trying to reverse it's downward spiral that it's been in since the 2001-2002 season and this week's season premiere was certainly a step in the right direction. Having a a hot comedy comodity like Steve Carrell host was a good idea, as he was game for getting into it with the cast. The Mike Myers/Kanye West bit was also pretty funny and it looks like the new featured players are pretty good. That being said, they're still holding onto some preconceived notion that they have to hold back their black cast members and then make fun of the fact that they're doing so. I mean, both Kenan Thompson and Finesse Mitchell are funny, possibly as funny as anyone else in the cast, so why are they still relegated to lame cameos and whatnot? And as for Horatio Sanz on Update, the less said, the better. Come back soon Tina!