Apprentice thoughts

I have to admit that after watching half of last season and the first two episodes of this season, I'm pretty much hooked as a regular watcher. But what was up with Chris last night? Trump was practically begging for him to bring someone other than Marcus in to be fired. The only way he could of been less subtle was if he said "If it's between you and Marcus, I'm firing you. Bring back a patsy." I guess Marcus must have made some racial jokes or pissed all over the toilet seat to make Chris so blind with hate.

Holocaust is a lie and Jews and Freemasons brought Britain to war

or so one of the Tony Blair's advisor's says:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml;jsessionid=YRAFBJMXBX4C3QFIQMFSNAGAVCBQ0JVC?xml=/news/2005/09/12/nthom12.xml&sSheet=/portal/2005/09/12/ixportal.html

One has to wonder where the outrage is. Or maybe not: maybe Britain has become so fucking bigotted that this is the new norm.

Mallrats 10th anniversary DVD

As most know, I'm a huge Kevin Smith fan. So much so that I happily defend most of his work and even his propensity to take advantage of his fans devotion by releasing far more products than any one can reasonably be expected to need. He went for the dreaded "double-dip" last year and released a Ten year anniversary edition of Clerks. Far from a thrown together package, it was a 3 disc monster of a set featuring a great documentary, an extended cut of the film with commentary and many other goodies any good View Askew fan can't be without. So when I heard he was releasing a 10th anniversary edition of Mallrats, I was completely on board to re-buy the film (even though I own the original version on DVD).

Unfortunately, just as Mallrats disappointed alot of Smith fans after Clerks, this set did the same for me after the great Clerks X set. For starters, it's a single dual sided disc, which assures that it will become horribly dirty upon multiple viewings. But more disappointing is what was added. The new stuff amounts to three additions: a new featurette about the film with recent interviews with key cast, crew, etc., a Q&A with most of the cast and an extended cut of the film.

The featurette is fairly entertaining albeit covers very little new ground. There is alot of comments from the producers and studio execes which is sort of interesting, but if you've seen the original featurette (which is also on this set), it's familiar territory.

The Q&A is your typical Kevin Smith Q&A. Meaning, if you enjoy the format of An Evening with Kevin Smith, you'll probably enjoy it. It sort of sucks that the three biggest females leads aren't involved and usual Askew staple Ben Affleck is missing, but those involved keep it entertaining.

Finally, there's the extended cut of the film. Smith prefaces it by saying his original intention was to re-cut the film as he would have done since it was the only film he's done that he wasn't involved in that process. In the end, he changed his mind and ended up just cutting a version that is basically an unedited version of the shooting script. And suffice to say, it adds about a half hour to the front to add a new/old plot device that doesn't work at all. In fact, all the "new" footage is available on the original dvd, albeit in a less clean version.

In summary, if you don't have Mallrats on DVD and want it, definitely go for the 10th anniversary cut. Otherwise, save your $$$.

Down goes DeLay

They say everytime a republican gets indicted, an angel gets its wings:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050928/ap_on_go_co/delay_investigation_15;_ylt=ArioAuz9a8wx.4wUGmmOVuuGbToC;_ylu=X3oDMTBiMW04NW9mBHNlYwMlJVRPUCUl

Testaverde, Martin, Coles

It's like 2001 all over again.

Dance your cares away, worries for another day

The Fraggles are coming back:

http://www.muppetcentral.com/news/2005/092005.shtml

Palmeiro point his fingers everywhere but at himself

and so now, it's Miguel Tejada's fault? Way to win friends and influence teammates:

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2169007

Just like the leaves changing, a sure sign that Fall is here

When baseball fans start cursing the Yankees once again:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=schoenfield/050920

Top 50 movies of the last 5 years-2000

Geez, who thought these lists would actually take, y'know, thought and some modicum of effort? Anyway, we start with the first partial year, as we have six films from the last quarter of 2000.

Best in Show
Released: September 29, 2000
Starring: Christopher Guest, Eugene Levy, Catherin O'Hara, Michael McKean, Parker Posey, Fred Willard
IMDB Rating: 7.5
This was the follow up to Guest and Levy's first collabaration, Waiting for Guffman, and they didn't stray too far from that formula. In fact, the cast is nearly identical except for the additions of McKean, Jennifer Coolidge and a few others. But when a formula works, there's no need to tamper with it too much. The cast is uniformly funny, but the clear MVP is Fred Willard's absurd commentary at the Dog Show, made even funnier by Jim Piddock's reactions. Together, they made the funniest American/British combo since Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and Lord Alfred Hayes on the old "Bobby Heenan Show."


Meet the Parents
Released: October 6, 2000
Starring: Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro, Teri Polo, Blythe Danner, Owen Wilson
IMDB Rating: 7.0
Stiller's status as Hollywood's go-to-Jew was solidified with this film. But the movie lived and died on De Niro, who played the father-in-law from hell. At times, it comes off a bit too mean spirited, but Stiller is game for the embarassment. Back then, Stiller's shtick was still somewhat fresh and he and De Niro worked well together. Considering the ending, you gotta wonder why they didn't go the "Back to the Future" route and just end with a "To Be Continued?" Which, of course, it sadly was.

The Contender
Released: October 13, 2000
Starring: Joan Allen, Jeff Bridges, Gary Oldman, Christian Slater
IMDB Rating: 7.0
Political dramas tend to either be far too partisan or far too boring to be any good, but this one relied on the strengths of their stars to propel this film. Joan Allen played the part of the would-be disgraced candidate perfectly, showing once again why she's criminally underrated. Speaking of underrated, Bridges brought his best Clinton meets the Dude charisma in another great performance. Oldman, the only one of the three who didn't get an Oscar nod, disappears into his character as usual, a mighty impressive fact considering his political objections to the role.


Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Release Date: December 8, 2000
Starring: Chow Yun Fat, Michelle Yeoh, Zhang Ziyi
IMDB Rating: 8.2
Damn Andy Dick for making think of his oral sex techniques from Old School everytime I see this title. Blowjobs aside, the effects and fighting in this film alone warrant inclusion in any Best of list; the fact that there's a great story attached as well makes it an all-time classic. Ang Lee is at his absolute peak of filmmaking and even my longtime nemesis Chow Yun Fat is great.

O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Release Date: December 22, 2000
Starring: George Clooney, John Turturro, Tim Blake Nelson, Holly Hunter, John Goodman
IMDB Rating: 7.8
Back when this film came out, Owen Gleiberman gave it one of the worst reviews I'd ever seen a movie get in Entertainment Weekly. Sometimes, a film is just a bit too low brow for movie snobs. Of course, considering this is an updated version of the Odyssey, it appears Gleiberman picked a bad target. Or maybe he hates Clooney or the Coen brothers or has a small penis. In any event, the soundtrack alone starting a resurgence for country music. The film's good too, as Clooney puts on arguably his best film role to date (though after Batman & Robin, anything decent was welcome).

Traffic
Release Date: December 27, 2000
Starring: Michael Douglas, Benicio Del Torro, Catherine Zeta Jones, Don Cheadle
IMDB Rating: 7.8
2000 was certainly Steven Soderbergh's best year and this is his best film ever. His prolific nature probably ended up costing him the best picture Oscar. A great cast, unique camera work and a decent message (albeit a bit heavy handedly made). Erika Christensen ends up giving the second scariest "White girl becomes a huge drug whore" performance of the year behind Jennifer Conelly in Requiem for a Dream. I mean hey, Erika was great, but there was no dildo.

Back to "registered only" for comments

Not that i've received alot of feedback on this, but since the usual hucksters are abusing the comment privilege, I have switched back to letting only registered users comment. Always gotta be some bad apples spoiling things.

Must See Tuesday?

Well, if NBC was looking for a good way to rebuild their schedule post-Friends, it may have found the way with it's duo of My Name is Earl/The Office on Tuesdays. From the looks of things, "Earl" may become the breakout series of the season, with Jason Lee playing a redneck with a sudden change of heart as to the life he's lead. Lee, as usual, was great and fellow View Askew alum Ethan Suplee was awesome as his Rob Base obsessed brother.

As if that wasn't enough, The Office continues to get funnier with each passing episode. Any show that is willing to showcase office awards for "Best Bowel movement" and my personal favorite "Hot Curry award" certainly merits watching. Bring back Scrubs as a lead in and you have a great 1 1/2 of comedy.

Top 50 movies of the last 5 years: introduction

So like any pop-culture junkie, I always enjoy when a magazine like Rolling Stone or EW comes out with a new "Top___ Movies/Albums/Songs" list. They're always good for a few chuckles, some guffaws at the missing entries and begrudging resignation at the fact that the top item will always be the same (The Beatles, Bob Dylan, Citizn Kane and Seinfeld tend to be the veritable staples of these lists).

I figured being that this blog is read by so many people, some of which are hawkishly trying to get me to use their online dating sites, that it make sense to do my own list and so, over the next week or two, i'll be presenting my favorite 50 movies from the last five years. A few notes to begin with:

-I've seen approximately 500 movies (no joke) since mid-September 2000, the official start date of this list, so I figure widdling this down to 10% of those films is sufficiently narrow enough.

-In the case of sequels, where a sequel is an independent film, I treat it as a separate entity. When its clearly part of an overarching group of movies, I treated it as one entry. This saves me a few spots for additional films, but doesn't cover too much ground. In fact, only two movies and their sequels does this apply to (should be obvious).

-I'm not a professional movie critic and generally have pretty pedestrian tastes, so this is not a list of which films are "the best". This is pure personal preference. Also, I will list the movies by release date since the thought of actually putting them in some qualitative order sounds as appealing as watching a David Lynch/Spike Lee film festival to me.

-Finally, I wanted to note that one of my favorite movies ever, Almost Famous, just missed the cut since it was released in early September 2000. I was contemplating including "Untitled", its extended and in my opinion, superior brother, but I chose to stick to theatrical releases only, so no go. Which means no HBO movies either.

and with that, here goes nothing

Muslims "offended" by British Holocaust Memorial Day

http://www.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,,1571299,00.html

You know what I'm offended by? 9/11, suicide bombings in Israel, the murders by Chechyeans in Russia, the genocide in Sudan, Al Quaeda, anti-semitic conspiracy theories and the burning of synagogues in Gaza by Muslims.

Maybe if Muslims didn't ally themselves so emphatically with Hitler maybe they'd have a hell of alot less guilt and be less offended by this. Bunch of whining malcontents.

and who said Germans didn't have a sense of humor?

YOU WILL BE SERIOUS! THEN YOU WILL DO TRAPEZE!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050915/ap_on_fe_st/germany_smiles_verboten

Random Thoughts for a Thursday

-The Yankees are currently 2 1/2 games back on the Sox and basically tied with Cleveland for a wild card spot. The Boston thing i get, but Cleveland? I mean, have they done anything since they traded Manny back in the day? If the Yanks miss the playoff to them,it will be as embarassing as the 2002 loss to the Angels if not worse.

-Bush has said he accepts responsibility for Katrina "to the extent it was a federal responsibility." As a lawyer, I'm quite adept at parsing through bullshit and seeing it for what it is. And basically, Bush might as well have said that he "accepts responsibility to the extent that he can't blame it on the uppity n&&*er mayor and dumb bitch governor." Because that's what he meant.

-Caught this new show "The Reality Show" starring my cousin Dan Levy on MTV the other night. High Concept: a reality show where reality shows compete to become a reality show. Best two contestants were the fake celebrity black chicks and lying Indian party animals. I don't really think this needs any further explanation.

-and speaking of reality shows, Kill Reality did exactly what it's title implies: it killed any chance of anyone ever taking reality stars seriously as actors or human beings. Anytime you have a person, in this case Survivor's uber villain Johnny Fairplay, who needs to have it explained to them why taking a shit in someone else's bed WHILE THEY'RE IN THE BED is about the worst thing in the world, you know you're dealing with functioning retards. My only hope is that Fairplay gets his own show where he's followed around to celebrity's homes and watches as he takes dumps in their beds. Hell, I'm sure Fox will pick it up.

-finally, there's actually a pretty decent column in the new Maxim about Randy Moss. It's written by a female writer and she can't help but go on and on about how decent Randy is in real life. Which begs the question: was she expecting he would rape her or something? well, maybe not begs, but certainly something that makes you go hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

OOO, piece of candy.

Two new shows worth checking out

So through the miracle of new marketing techniques by the networks, I got to watch the first episodes of two new shows this weekend before they premiered. First up was "Everybody hates Chris," which had me worrying about this being Chris Rock's The PJs. Luckily, the shows actually pretty decent. Rock does a good job of narrating and moving the story along and the actor tapped to play young Chris does a decent job as well. The humor is right out of Rock's standup reportoire, though much more toned down because its network TV (if you consider UPN a network of course).

Then, there's "How I met your Mom" which tries very hard to be the "next Friends." and in many ways, it certainly has potential to fill that 20somethings comedy niche that's been empty since Friends left the air. Some good performances from Alyson Hannigan, Jason Segal and my personal favorite Neil Patrick Harris. This one's got a narrator too (Bob Saget), but doesn't play as much of a role as "Chris".

Both are worth checking out. And by the way:

Simpsons sucked, War at Home sucked, Family Guy and American Dad ruled.

Oooh, piece of candy...

New faces at SNL

http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/TV/09/12/television.snl.reut/index.html

hopefully, they'll rely more on Will Forte, Seth Meyers and Kenan Thompson. And thank God Rudolph will be gone for a while. I swear, one more stupid Noony sketch and i would've put my foot through the TV.

Some early morning hypocrisy for you

Weren't Muslims complaining a few months ago about the West showing disrespect to their religion's items and shrines? but this is ok?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2005/09/12/ugaza.xml&sSheet=/portal/2005/09/12/ixportaltop.html

not to sound racist or anything, but if this a prelude to how the Palestinians are going to run Gaza, then expect to see a pretty pathetic culture emerge there. Hypocritical nihlistic bullshit.

Funniest movie in a long while

Finally got around to seeing 40 year Old Virgin last night and truthfuly haven't laughed so hard in the theater in quite some time (and those who know me know how hard that it is). Steve Carell is on his way to becoming one of the elite go to guys when it comes to comedic films and i'd even venture to say he may overtake Will Ferrell as my favorite comedic actor. The rest of the cast was equally great making the whole film just a great ensemble experience. The only problem is its a bit too long (nearly two hours) for a comedy. Chop a half hour off it and it could've been a classic.

Trying to get back to reality

The horrors from New Orleans just keep coming, but I guess life must go on (or so the Beatles once said). My prayers continue to go out to those in need and my hope goes out that this will be a wake up call to the feds to fix FEMA and Homeland Security.

On a lighter note, very disappointing Entourage finale Sunday. Seemed like nearly a carbon copy of the season one finale, with everything just stepped up a notch. And leaving Ari's issues unresolved? after Piven single handedly carried the show for the last few episodes? Lame as hell.

I'm gonna be using whatever leftover karmic capital I have to hope he gets the Emmy, but clearly that's quite low on the metaphysical totem pole these days.

What the fuck can we do?

The aftermath of Katrina is just so ridiculously sad and hopeless so far. All you keep hearing about are the thousands likely dead, potential for disease, the destruction, the looting, etc. I mean, this is the sad reality, but when will the tide turn? And what, beyond donating money, can we really do?

I guess pray.