Prison Break

On the opposite end of the enjoyability spectrum, Brett Ratner's new show on Fox seems to be getting alot of undue praise. Turns out, it's a bit of a 24 ripoff with some PG "OZ" thrown in for good measure. So far, none of the characters are compelling and the storyline is extremely convuluted. And the acting, while not awful, certainly isn't great. I think that part of the problem is that it's on network TV and therefore the dialogue has to pick up what the action can't carry for censorship reasons. Very dissapointing.

I also think that the title of the show does it a disservice by pretty much giving away the farm before even the first episode. Part of the impact that could have been garnered from the end of the first episode was destroyed by knowing in advance what laid ahead.

Rome

So, it looks like HBO has found its next dramatic hit in Rome. The first episode aired on Sunday and had just the right mix of action, sex and storyline to make it compelling. The first half hour was quite clutterred, but by the end, I was firmly hooked. It's quite an undertaking to do a tv show where only movies have tread before, but this one looks promising.

My main complaint is the show has an absurd amount of major characters. Check out the HBO.com profile of the show and you'll see there's 15+ characters.

Quit jibber-jabbering, he needs work!

Now, I can totally see bringing him back to the Rocky series, but having him as a commentator? Why not get Mike Tyson to play the ring doctor or a referee?

http://www.moviehole.net/news/6158.html

Future Addition to "Unnecessary Sequels"

http://www.411mania.com/movies/news/article.php?news_id=8644

Even if you get the original three guys back-and Luke Wilson returning would make little sense, so if the other two come back, assume he will-what else could they do with this that wasn't done in the first one?

and without jeremy piven as the uber dick dean, how can you have another old school?

Doc enters Bobby Brown territory

http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/340098p-290375c.html

It's always sad to see a man with so much talent sink so low. Especially just a few weeks after recalling his glory seasons in Bill Simmons' column.

Scripted blandness

So as a follow to my post about "Tommy Lee goes to College", I just found that not only is this show not real in any sense, but it's actually completely scripted. So not only is Tommy Lee pretending to be trying to get an education, but he's scripting himself to look bookish and tame.

There is no Santa Claus people.

Lazy weekend = lots of crappy reality shows

Part of the fun of having a completely lazy, event free weekend (albeit one which I used to do some work) is having time to catch up on TV watching. In particular, this weekend I checked out three new "reality" shows that looked somewhat interesting.

First, there was the Battle of the Network Reality Stars, a takeoff on the old Battle of the Network Stars. The only problem with this was that almost half of the participants were from CBS and so they divided teams randomly by-well, by complete chance. This lack of rhyme or reason made for some interesting combos, my favorite being Team Miz with Real World's Mike "the Miz", Richard Hatch from survivor, that chick from American Idol who was on the surreal life and the midget..i mean little person from Amazing Race. If there's a hell, I'd say Team Miz was certainly the team it was rooting for. The show itself is awful. The two biggest highlights were Coral from the real world's breasts, which may be the hugest breasts on earth, sticking out from a tiny bikini as she was repeatedly dunked in the dunk tank competition. The fact that there was a "dunk tank competition" should be enough to show how worthless this show was.

Next up was "Tommy Lee goes to college," as great of a premise as there possibly could be. You'd have thought by the end of the first episode, Tommy would have screwed at least ten freshmen, passed out in a pile of his own vomit and pulled at least one zany prank. Alas, Mr. Lee is actually serious about his studies and even takes on a tutor to help with his chemistry homework. The tutor in question is of course gorgeous and so naturally Tommy...pines after her like a school boy? This is the guy who had sex with Pamela Anderson, Heather Locklear and god knows how many porn stars and he's sweating some college girl? Apparently, my album covers have lied to me all these years.

Finally, there's "The Girls next door" which is all about Hugh Hefner playmate girlfriends. To say this show sucked is an understatement: when three playboy playmates fly to Vegas and meet up with two more playmates (and, um, Jeff Garcia?) and no naughty hijinks ensue, it's time to change the channel. I mean, yeah, it's E! but come on: this was so unsexy, i'd probably watch the battle of the Network stars again to see Coral's ridonculous boobs than watch this again.

"Joe Franklin raped me"

So i checked out "The Aristocrats" this weekend and laughed my ass off throughout (my apologies to Shira and all in the theater). As i'm sure you know by now, The Aristocrats is an age old joke that is basically used by comedians to practive improvisation and also practice being vulgar as possible. The film features some of the best known faces in comedy both from a general perspective and stand up perspective. There's something about watching Bob Saget discussing fucking a person's eye socket that is just so wrong. Aside from Saget, Gilbert Gottfried's take on the joke (from a roast days after 9/11) and the south park version are definite highlights.

Not sure how wide the distribution is, but if you can, I suggest you see it as soon as possible and definitely check it out when it comes to video.

40 million vs. 21 million

70+ games played vs. 20 games played.

and the winner in the prestigous "How stupid can the Dolans be this month" contest is:

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2134771

And speaking of dishonesty, Cindy Sheehan is full of shit

http://news.baou.com/main.php?action=recent&rid=20405

I'm sure many of you have been sympathetic for this woman who was so tramautized by her son's death. I was very sympathetic to her even after it was clear she had changed her story about her meeting with Bush. But this clinches it for me that she is nothing more than your typical far left activist, towing the line about Israel being to blame for Iraq.

Sorry Cindy, Iraqis killed your son. Israel had nothing to do with it.

The Gaza withdrawal brings with it hope and dishonesty

Today is one of the most significant days in the entire Israeli/Palestinian conflict with the official begining of the Gaza withdrawal. Given the events of the last five years (hell, given the events of the last 100+ years in the region) I think it's natural to have some healthy skepticism about it. But, I think it's quite dishonest to watch the way many of the left wing commentators on this matter are essentially ignoring it's impact by either claiming it's not enough and/or by claiming it's a diversion tactic. And i reject this. What this is a step taken by a country to retreat from legally acquired (yes, i said legally. unless you consider half of this country illegally occupied of course)land for nothing in return. That is quite extraordinary even if its long term effect may be negated by the refusal of the Palestinians to reciprocate.

And that's a second way in which dishonesty is showing: one would think now that Israel has taken a huge step, dismantled the settlements and removed its citizens, some of whom do not want to leave, that the next step would fall at the feet of the PA. Unsurprisingly, it does not seem that the left wing commentators are doing this. Rather, they are pointing their finger right back at Israel and saying "that's not enough."

And that my friends is the very definition of a dishonest approach to this situation.

You're the best-around-nothing's ever gonna keep you down!

Since the movie studios are completely creatively bankrupt, isn't about time that they redid the Karate Kid?

I am now officially a Pod person

Thanks to a very generous and wonderful person, I have finally achieved "cool" status as I know own an I-Pod mini. It really felt like Christmas morning when I pulled the box out of its gift bag. I shall now spend every waking moment playing with this wonderous new toy.

Live from New York

There are very few books that I can stomach reading once, let alone multiple times. Maybe its my short attention span, or maybe its the fact that because I've grown up with TV and film as my favorite mediums to tell stories. In any event, when I do find a book I enjoy, I know its a good one. Such a book is Live From New York by Tom Shales and James Andrew Miller.

Now, it shouldn't be a surprise that this is a book about Saturday Night Live, a favorite show of mine since I was 13. What is surprising is how well the format works. The authors have culled anecdotes about the show from cast, writers, hosts, producers and pretty much any living person ever significantly involved in the show. And through their careful editing, they've crafted a rather detailed history of the show's first 27 years (it ends at the end of the 2001-2002 season, which is pretty much the last good season of the show as of late). At over 550 pages, it's a hefty read, but the way it's formatted allows for easy starting and stopping. If you like the show, you should definitely read this book

Ten years later

I still remember August 9, 1995 like it was yesterday. It was in the tail end of my job as a camp karate instructor at Gate Hill Day Camp and as usual, my thoughts that day were limited to the usual: what i was gonna do that day, was it really wrong for me to want to hook up with a girl four years younger than me (apparently, a like minded counsellor answered that with a resounding "NO" and ruined any chance of that happerning). I was on a break when I turned my portable radio to K-Rock to listen to while I relaxed on a picnic table by the equipment shack. the Grateful Dead was playing and when they played a second song, I didn't assume much about it.

Moments later, the news came over the radio that Jerry Garcia had passed. I was shocked; even though he had longtime drug problems that had wreaked havoc on him (nearly killing him at least once before), people like Jerry AREN'T supposed to die. I had just seen my first-and only-Dead show and was looking forward to see him play that fall. Alas, it wasn't to be. Utter disbelief was my mood for the rest of the day. As the news filtered through camp, I saw a fellow counsellor balling. She had followed the Dead out east and was working at the camp to pay for her fall tour expenses. The sense of loss on her face was one of the saddest things I have ever seen.

It's a testament to both the group and its fans that the Dead (now just the Dead) continues to churn out past concerts on cd and puts on tours to this day. Even though Jerry is gone and sorely missed, I'm sure he's happy that the music goes on.

"Standing on the moon with nothing left to do
A lovely view of heaven but I'd rather be with you"

A happier anniversary

Six months ago today, my life changed quite dramatically. It takes alot to drag a person out of their homes the day they have a root canal, but I can unequivocally say that it was absolutely worth the pain. So today, I wish to say thank you and express my unequivocal love for that person. You made the best painkiller I ever had :)

Love,
Me

P.S.-I realize this violates the spirit of my first post, but as I said, it's my blog and I'll get personal if I want to.

Speaking of anchormen...

here's part II of the Simmons column:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/050805

Peter Jennings 1938-2005

http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=1015438

Very sad to hear about his passing. Of the big three anchors, I always felt the most comfortable with Jennings and felt he did the most to both explain and contextualize the events he was reporting. It's hard to imagine we'll see anchors like him, Rather and Brokaw ever having the same effect they did now with the increase in news outlets, both tv and other mediums.

"Blogs are supposed to be personal, fucker."

Let it never be said that I am above posting constructive criticism such as the above quote from one of my most loyal fans. Although to be fair, I would like to say that I'd like to think of myself as more of a Focker than a Fucker.

Then again, I definitely don't want to be a Gaylord.

Either way, much thanks and love to the critic. For your words have inspired me more than any nonsense in the world today to keep on keeping on.

As always, the best is yet to come.

Anchorman and the NBA off-season

great column by Bill Simmons:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/050804&num=0

Unnecessary Sequels: Revenge of the Nerds III

So I was flipping through the program guide last night and lo and behold, it appears that HBO has picked up the 3rd and 4th installments of the Revenge of the Nerds series (neither of which ever made it to theaters). Now for those who know me, you know that I hold the original ROTN in the highest esteem and consider it one of the best college comedies out there (only Animal House is better). The sequel was a lame attempt to recapture the glory of the first one, although it did have the advantage of having Brad Whitford, harnessing his powers as an asshole du jour, as the head Alpha Beta. Had they left the series at that, all would be well with the universe.

So of course, having a need to scrape the bottom of the barrell for entertainment, Fox decided to make a third movie, this one focussing on a "new generation" of Nerds while also focussing on what happened on the main Nerds from the original. Sounds terrible right? To make matters worse, they added Morton Downey Jr. as a former Alpha Beta who helps take down the Lambdas. Not exactly sure what he added to the film, but whatever. That wasn't the worst part.

No, my friends, the worst part comes at the end when Lewis, who had renounced his "Nerd status" to party it up with Stan Gable (a sacreligious plot line to say the least), is confronted by his best friend Gilbert, played as always by...Mike Greenwood? Yeah, I know Anthony Edwards was too big of a star at this point (what, with Top Gun and Gotcha), but couldn't they have just left him out?

Anyway, this "film" is only made worse by the fact that they made ANOTHER sequel after that. Do not watch this movie unless you've recently been hit over the head with a baseball bat or if you are a masochist

And speaking of assholes.....

http://memri.org/bin/latestnews.cgi?ID=SD94805

For those who are unaware of Galloway's credentials, he is one of the key figures in the UN Oil for food scandal. Not only that, but his far left rhetoric led him to eventually being kicked out of the Labour Party in the UK.

Loonies like him only add fuel to the fire and give terrorists the justification they need.

If everyone was jumping off a cliff, would you do it too?

So since blogging has become all the rage (and since I' ve long wanted a place to be all about me, me, ME!) I figured I'd just start my own blog. Hope you like the title and hope it gives you a little insight into what shall follow on these pages. But for the sake of clarity, here's a brief list of what will and won't be seen here:

-I will discuss movies, music, sports, politics, why a peanut is neither a pea nor a nut.
-I will not discuss personal matters, matters involving other people's personal lives, gossip, the general pointlessness of this endeavor or anything that remotely would piss anyone I know off.

Of course, seeing as this is MY blog and not YOUR blog, I reserve the right to hypocritically change my mind at a moment's notice and start/stop discussing any of the above matters.

And with that, I end this first entry with smile, wave and my third cup of coffee today.